Believe
it or not, at one point or another in my life all of these have been a
very real problem in some of my past relationships. I’m not sure whether
to laugh or cry about it now that I see it written out into such a long
list!
I’m going to print this out and hang it somewhere I’ll see it often to serve as a constant reminder of what I deserve in life from now on! The search for
themy perfect woman has begun!
2. will have the same sense of “clean” as I do.
3. will never put others down to make herself feel better.
4. will treat everyone with respect, including herself.
5. will have a job and/or money of her own.
6. will not nag incessantly.
7. will talk when the need arises rather than putting it off until later.
8. will not watch Lifetime movies endlessly.
9. will accept my friends, even if she hates them.
10. will not be jealous of my female friends.
11. will not want to spend every waking second with me.
12. will prefer to call instead of text.
13. will not spend her entire day talking or texting on her iPhone.
14. will be emotionally mature, available and evolved.
15. will always have my back.
16. will always give me the benefit of a doubt.
17. will dress well, but not obsess about it.
18. will ask me how I’m doing and how my day was (and actually care about my answer).
19. will be content to sometimes spend the whole day in bed watching movies and hanging out with one another.
20. will compliment me every now and then, especially when I’ve made an actual effort to look nice for a night out with her.
21. will not be a raging alcoholic or a full-blown drug addict.
22. will have goals, dreams and the drive to achieve them.
23. will like carving pumpkins and dressing up for Halloween.
24. will know how to cook.
25. will text or call just to say ‘Hi.’
26. will not live clear across the country.
27. will not be ‘ghetto’ in any sense of the word.
28. will be interested in other cultures, music, art and world travel.
29. will have actually read a book since high school.
30. will quit her job if she hates it and start making other plans, rather than coming home and bitching about it every night.
31. will always tell the truth (at least to me). I’m a big boy now, and I can handle it, trust me on this.
32. will be open-minded and non-judgmental of others.
33. will put forth as much effort to find out about my day as I did about hers.
34. will know how to communicate like an adult.
35. will enjoy spending time with me.
36. will be as crazy about me as much as I will be about her.
37. will never try to make me feel dumb or childish.
38. will appreciate the art of foreplay.
39. will not try to teach me when I didn’t ask to be taught.
40. will not have an aversion to wearing dresses sometimes.
41. will want to go to sleep at night with me, and wake up beside me in the mornings, not on the couch.
42. will have sex with her eyes open, at least most of the time.
43. will appreciate my efforts to try new things.
44. will talk to me when something bothers her.
45. will love me for me — faults, imperfections and all — and love me all the more for them.
46. will continually surprise me.
47. will lovingly accept and embrace my neuroses.
48. will have a ‘we’ team mentality.
49. will stay with me through better and worse.
50. will have a backbone, and demonstrate such by not being afraid to voice her opinions in the relationship and not being afraid to disagree with me.
51. will be a great kisser.
52. will have a great sense of humor, but know when to be serious.
53. will be more passionate in random moments.
54. will know who she is as a person and be comfortable with it.
55. will think I’m HOT, not just ‘cute.’
56. will treat me as well as my friends do.
57. will be able to laugh at herself.
58. will have a normal temper that does not explode randomly.
59. will enjoy striking up conversations with strangers.
60. will give me space when necessary.
61. will not have on-going fixations with her ex.
62. will not make me feel like I’m only second best.
63. will be able to think more than two days into the future.
64. will not be in bed by 8:30 every night.
65. will appreciate how much I care about my work.
66. will have her own friends.
67. will know what a commitment is and follow that up with actions that support it.
68. will understand that relationships aren’t all perfect, and that sometimes fighting can actually resolve difficult issues.
69. will like going out on a week night sometimes, rather than just sitting at home watching TV all the time.
70. will be responsible with money.
71. will appreciate our differences, not fear them.
72. will actually enjoy sex, not just endure it.
73. will be able to deal with my pets.
74. will talk dirty.
75. will be confident in herself, but not egotistical or stuck-up.
76. will not be a bitch.
77. will trust me.
78. will be more interested in sex because she wants to be with me, not because it’s something that happens to feel good for the moment.
79. will know how to interact socially.
80. will not be a homophobe.
81. will not take herself so seriously.
82. will know what it means to ‘agree to disagree.’
83. will not be selfish with her love when things don’t go her way.
84. will say she’s open minded and actually mean it
85. won’t judge me by my past relationships.
86. will not remind me of how hot guys are that are the complete opposite of me.
87. will like to have sex on a regular basis, but not a schedule.
88. will not wear layers of makeup.
89. will have already installed the filter that lets her know when not to say inappropriate or offensive things in front of me.
90. will love that I have such a big heart.
91. will be smart but not snide.
92. will not have friends of the opposite sex who aren’t just friends.
93. will love that I’m independent.
94. will like small public displays of affection such as holding hands.
95. will not be in trouble with the law.
96. will enjoy horror in any way, shape or form. Extra points for real zombie fans.
97. will not spend money excessively on non-essentials such as make-up.
98. will be into dark, twisted, dry humor.
99. will NOT be an anorexic gym fanatic.
100. will stand up for me if someone attacks me in any way, verbally or otherwise, and ask questions later.
Don’t agree with any of these? Tough crap! I don’t care what you think! Evidently you don’t know me and my sense of humor, or you just didn’t read my About Me page when you first got here.
In all seriousness, though, what qualities do you look for in your ‘perfect’ man or woman? You should compile your own list and compare it to mine, or your friends or, even better, you’re significant other. That would be very interesting! Don’t worry if you can’t think of 100 things of your own, as even a small list will serve to get you thinking about what sorts of things you like, prefer and deserve.
I’m going to print this out and hang it somewhere I’ll see it often to serve as a constant reminder of what I deserve in life from now on! The search for
My Perfect Woman…
1. will not cheat on me.2. will have the same sense of “clean” as I do.
3. will never put others down to make herself feel better.
4. will treat everyone with respect, including herself.
5. will have a job and/or money of her own.
6. will not nag incessantly.
7. will talk when the need arises rather than putting it off until later.
8. will not watch Lifetime movies endlessly.
9. will accept my friends, even if she hates them.
10. will not be jealous of my female friends.
11. will not want to spend every waking second with me.
12. will prefer to call instead of text.
13. will not spend her entire day talking or texting on her iPhone.
14. will be emotionally mature, available and evolved.
15. will always have my back.
16. will always give me the benefit of a doubt.
17. will dress well, but not obsess about it.
18. will ask me how I’m doing and how my day was (and actually care about my answer).
19. will be content to sometimes spend the whole day in bed watching movies and hanging out with one another.
20. will compliment me every now and then, especially when I’ve made an actual effort to look nice for a night out with her.
21. will not be a raging alcoholic or a full-blown drug addict.
22. will have goals, dreams and the drive to achieve them.
23. will like carving pumpkins and dressing up for Halloween.
24. will know how to cook.
25. will text or call just to say ‘Hi.’
26. will not live clear across the country.
27. will not be ‘ghetto’ in any sense of the word.
28. will be interested in other cultures, music, art and world travel.
29. will have actually read a book since high school.
30. will quit her job if she hates it and start making other plans, rather than coming home and bitching about it every night.
31. will always tell the truth (at least to me). I’m a big boy now, and I can handle it, trust me on this.
32. will be open-minded and non-judgmental of others.
33. will put forth as much effort to find out about my day as I did about hers.
34. will know how to communicate like an adult.
35. will enjoy spending time with me.
36. will be as crazy about me as much as I will be about her.
37. will never try to make me feel dumb or childish.
38. will appreciate the art of foreplay.
39. will not try to teach me when I didn’t ask to be taught.
40. will not have an aversion to wearing dresses sometimes.
41. will want to go to sleep at night with me, and wake up beside me in the mornings, not on the couch.
42. will have sex with her eyes open, at least most of the time.
43. will appreciate my efforts to try new things.
44. will talk to me when something bothers her.
45. will love me for me — faults, imperfections and all — and love me all the more for them.
46. will continually surprise me.
47. will lovingly accept and embrace my neuroses.
48. will have a ‘we’ team mentality.
49. will stay with me through better and worse.
50. will have a backbone, and demonstrate such by not being afraid to voice her opinions in the relationship and not being afraid to disagree with me.
51. will be a great kisser.
52. will have a great sense of humor, but know when to be serious.
53. will be more passionate in random moments.
54. will know who she is as a person and be comfortable with it.
55. will think I’m HOT, not just ‘cute.’
56. will treat me as well as my friends do.
57. will be able to laugh at herself.
58. will have a normal temper that does not explode randomly.
59. will enjoy striking up conversations with strangers.
60. will give me space when necessary.
61. will not have on-going fixations with her ex.
62. will not make me feel like I’m only second best.
63. will be able to think more than two days into the future.
64. will not be in bed by 8:30 every night.
65. will appreciate how much I care about my work.
66. will have her own friends.
67. will know what a commitment is and follow that up with actions that support it.
68. will understand that relationships aren’t all perfect, and that sometimes fighting can actually resolve difficult issues.
69. will like going out on a week night sometimes, rather than just sitting at home watching TV all the time.
70. will be responsible with money.
71. will appreciate our differences, not fear them.
72. will actually enjoy sex, not just endure it.
73. will be able to deal with my pets.
74. will talk dirty.
75. will be confident in herself, but not egotistical or stuck-up.
76. will not be a bitch.
77. will trust me.
78. will be more interested in sex because she wants to be with me, not because it’s something that happens to feel good for the moment.
79. will know how to interact socially.
80. will not be a homophobe.
81. will not take herself so seriously.
82. will know what it means to ‘agree to disagree.’
83. will not be selfish with her love when things don’t go her way.
84. will say she’s open minded and actually mean it
85. won’t judge me by my past relationships.
86. will not remind me of how hot guys are that are the complete opposite of me.
87. will like to have sex on a regular basis, but not a schedule.
88. will not wear layers of makeup.
89. will have already installed the filter that lets her know when not to say inappropriate or offensive things in front of me.
90. will love that I have such a big heart.
91. will be smart but not snide.
92. will not have friends of the opposite sex who aren’t just friends.
93. will love that I’m independent.
94. will like small public displays of affection such as holding hands.
95. will not be in trouble with the law.
96. will enjoy horror in any way, shape or form. Extra points for real zombie fans.
97. will not spend money excessively on non-essentials such as make-up.
98. will be into dark, twisted, dry humor.
99. will NOT be an anorexic gym fanatic.
100. will stand up for me if someone attacks me in any way, verbally or otherwise, and ask questions later.
Don’t agree with any of these? Tough crap! I don’t care what you think! Evidently you don’t know me and my sense of humor, or you just didn’t read my About Me page when you first got here.
In all seriousness, though, what qualities do you look for in your ‘perfect’ man or woman? You should compile your own list and compare it to mine, or your friends or, even better, you’re significant other. That would be very interesting! Don’t worry if you can’t think of 100 things of your own, as even a small list will serve to get you thinking about what sorts of things you like, prefer and deserve.
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